Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
