I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
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Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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