Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
