winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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