its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
