I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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