Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
