My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
My feet surprised me
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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