By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
