this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
