Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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