Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's shark week go big or go home
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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