he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
