YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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