is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
