the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
