when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
