I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
