I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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