Whod you bang
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
