so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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