Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
