the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize