The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
