hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
They have beer where we have blood.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
