Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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