im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
