Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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