wake up i wanna do it froggy style
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
