there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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