Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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