Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Every concussion has its silver lining
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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