Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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