Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
