is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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