I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I got inside last night via doggy door
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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