I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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