Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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