If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize