No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
