I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
