Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
