dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize