I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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