yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
