Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize