this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
