I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
