Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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