apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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