At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
