So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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