oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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