Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
