His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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