I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
