i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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