how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize