Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
