apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Your cock deserves a montage
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
