i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
