i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
