1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
