My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm at about main and main street
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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