I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
